Turn forward the pendulum
by Monday the 14th
Summary: The moments that led to him becoming the way he is today. Threeshot, revealing Byakuya Kuchiki's past, and the way he evolved since his parents death, to the end of the Winter War.
1. To realize

Part 1/3

**Summary: **What were the moments that led to Byakuya Kuchiki becoming what he is today? Threeshot.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Bleach, or anything related to it. This is nothing else than pure fiction, spawned from fangirl-ism…

**Part 1/3 **

It seemed to be just like every other day: the sky was still blue, the sun was still shining, the birds still made that annoying noise that irritated him in his sleep. However, unlike other mornings, he was not woken up by his mother passing her fingers through his hair, gently whispering : Wake up, Byakuya-kun.

It was a habit of theirs since he was a small child, a morning routine that brought them together. The mother-child relationship among nobility was always overpowered by etiquette, nobody ever daring to display the affection for a most beloved child. But in the morning, when nobody was looking, they could enjoy these quiet moments of bonding, often prolonged by him pretending to be still asleep. In most of the evenings, he looked forward to the morning, just so he could hear her whispering, and caressing his hair.

In this particular morning, he woke by himself, to an empty room filled with sunshine, which, strangely enough, seemed colder than ever. He did not linger in his sheets, but rose almost immediately, with a tired move. His teenager face looked suddenly burdened with the hardships of life, his pose that of an old man.

The door seemed to open by itself when he got near it. As always, he hade his was to the bathhouse, located just outside the mansion, the servants clearing out of his way, the moment they saw him. He hated their sudden halts at the sight of him, and how they immediately bowed to their knees. It gave him the disturbing feeling that he carried some sort of disease, most would be attacked by at the sight of it.

After the bathing, he was dressed in an elegant ceremony kimono, something he had to wear on official occasions. After putting it on, he realized he did not know where to turn to, or what to do next. So he resorted to heading to his grandfather's office, the one briefly occupied by his father. Right there, on the desk was the report brought by the special courier. The one regretfully informing him of his parents' sudden and unexpected demise.

At the sight of it, his throat constricted, making anything but breathing, difficult. He knew that if he tried to do something as trivial as speaking, the tears, forcibly held back, would flow freely on his cheeks-an impossible sight for the future clan head. His long time dream seemed so much closer to fulfilling now, but he realized that, not once, did he think of the consequences of him becoming the most powerful family member.

His mind went blank, and he just stood at his father's desk, staring right in front of him, not acknowledging anything around him, until he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned, and was met the yellow eyes of Shihouin Yoruichi, the second division captain. This time, he made no move to jerk away from her, and accepted her guidance around the mansion corridors.

It was so strange, two members of the Kuchiki family to be simply slain by a hollow. Their deaths were in no way related to the recent disappearances of the commoners in Rukongai, their cause evident even for the untrained eye. It brought immense disgrace to the clan, but, it seemed, the captains of the Gotei 13 did not see it that way. All their signatures were present on the report, also informing him they would all attend the funeral. He realized that his father, never a captain himself, would not have attracted the entire Gotei thirteen at his ceremony. No. It must have been his belonging to the clan, one with a long history in fighting within the most important warriors of Soul Society.

It was all so silly, this whole ceremony was so…unnecessary. Byakuya knew all too well of the never-ending circle of life: after a person's death, they were guided by a shinigami to Soul Society. From that moment, they no longer possess a physical body, rather one composed of soul particles. After death in Soul Society, that body would disintegrate into soul particles and become a part of it. The single reason noble families held such pompous funerals was to give the impression, they would never become something as trivial as raw material, for the commoners to use. That was the single reason of the burial tradition. Burial tradition he would have given anything not to attend. Not so soon…too soon after the loss of his grandfather.

Somewhere ahead of him, the commander general, the oldest and wisest man in the whole Soul Society, began talking about what a terrible loss they had just suffered, about the bravery of the elder Kuchiki. To Byakuya they were all lies, empty words thrown without any ounce of feeling. As if he meant anything he said…he didn't. Nobody did. Nobody knew his father like he did, the one who spent endless hours of training and received great words of advice. He did, however, appreciate the fact someone took in charge of addressing the guests- his throat was still held by that invisible force, constricting him from uttering a single word.

Yoruichi's hand never left his shoulder, supporting him on the entire duration of the ceremony, a support he was glad to receive, seeing as he was not sure he would not tumble and fall on his knees. The grip tightened after the old man finished his speech, and he realized, with stupor, that everyone was looking at him expectantly. She gave him a gentle push forward, and he started moving, slowly toward the bramble.

He was glad to see he wasn't stumbling like a drunken man on his feet, but didn't have time to rejoice in this new found realization, that a servant handed a lit torch to him. He knew of his purpose, yet stood undecided, looking at it with a questioning gaze. This was it. He pushed the torched forward, until it came in contact with the pyre, a strong flame quickly forming and licking at its sides, until it engulfed the two figures lying on top of it.

He was pulled back from the rising source of heat, and he felt that comforting grip on his shoulder back. That was the only thing he paid attention to, the presence behind him, and the fire in front of him. Not the constant flow of people, not the stream of consolation words addressed to him. Nobody lingered, for the pair had already left this realm. Nobody but their son, pinned to the ground, wishing, for the first time in his life, to be as light as air and join them.

He didn't know when the sun descended on the sky, when the birds stopped chirping. He did feel, however, the Shihouin woman guide him towards the mansion. He realized he was talking, probably trying to pull him out of his reverie, but not a word registered in his mind. It was like a thick veil covered his ears, preventing him to hear her.

He was guided back to his room, and he realized, desperately, she wanted to leave him alone. Alone. That thought was terrifying at the moment, so, all pride left aside, he grasped her hand. If he would've looked, he would've seen the surprised look on her face, but he didn't. Keeping his gaze fixed at the floor, he uttered a single word: '_Stay_'

She knelt in front of him, her face lower than hers now, and felt her hands on either side of his face. She forced him to look at her, and he felt the tears picking at his eyes, threatening to spill. She must have said something again, but he didn't hear her. He couldn't understand anything in that moment, but felt reassured when she pulled him close in a tight hug.

Yoruichi knew that, in the next could of weeks, everything would turn back to normal. He would still feel the pain, but it would be kept deep inside of him, no trace of it showing to the outside. She knew that he would put every once of strength in his training, and that he would stop at nothing to become a clan head himself. She also knew that he would meet his goal, sooner than anyone else might expect. But that evening, she was allowed to see him cry himself to sleep, while she ran her fingers through his black, silky hair.

It was probably the only time he allowed himself to show such a powerful emotion in front of someone else.

**AN: **I seem to have a tendency to make bishies cry…next chapter will be mainly ByaHisa. It's still in draft form; you have to give me reviews to write it faster. hinthint I only want honest opinions…tell me if you think it's sucked…but if you do, also tell me why, so I can fix it :D Please?

Oh…yeah…the third chapter might be lime…scratch that, will be lime, because that's what this was originally meant to be…someone (cough you know who you arecough) made me write lime, and…I couldn't keep my imagination in check…so this is what came out. OK, that's all for now. Hope you enjoyed!


	2. To miss

He thought he lost everyone, that he was now alone in the world, the day his parents died

Part 2/3

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Bleach, or anything related to it. This is nothing else than pure fiction, spawned from fangirl-ism…

He thought he lost everyone, that he was now alone in the world, the day his parents died. He was proven wrong the same day. Shihouin Yoruchi, the demon cat, head of one of the four noble families, stood by his side the day of the funeral, as a constant support he did not know what he could have done without. All past insults were forgotten, and ever since that day, they got closer and closer, until he could not even remember the past times. It was utterly refreshing to be in her presence, thinking of anything but the catastrophe that befell the clan.

His training to become a powerful shinigami, unlike his father, and the future head of the family, was still as intense as ever. Perhaps even more so. Byakuya realized that under the pretence of _play_ he learned things from Yoruichi he was sure he would not have gained from elsewhere. Soon enough, his shunpo became faster, so much so, she was not just a blurry figure in front of him when they were chasing each other. Granted, he never really managed to beat her, but the encouragement words at the end of every evening spent together proved his progress.

It was a certain fact he would have managed to surpass her, had he had the time. But, suddenly, she disappeared along with her _friend, _Urahara Kisuke. He wondered how could she have discarded her duty as a Gotei 13 so easily, how she abandoned her family so easily, and, most of all, he wondered why she did not tell him anything. He wasn't sure how he would have reacted, every time he played the same scenario in his head, but either way…therefore, his mind wandered between two explanations: she either left so unexpected for his own protection, or she simply did not care enough for him. In the end, he reached the second conclusion, because, whichever way he would look at it, the 2nd division captain left to help her friend.

That is how he started to hate her.

Because he needed her, and she was elsewhere. Because he thought she cared, when she obviously didn't. Because it was the only thing he could do in order to keep on moving forward.

From then on, his life became a perfectly executed routine, full of excitement to the outside eye, but ever so mundane for him. Morning training, lunch, learning, kidou practice, evening training, then rest, only to wake to another day to do the same things over again. In less than a year, he was proclaimed clan head, having now come off age and gained enough experience in all domains, now shouldering a greater responsibility than ever before.

It was believed he would not stop his fervent practice to become a shinigami, however, everyone was proved wrong when he brought a commoner girl in his home. Not much was known about this thin, frail looking girl, from Rukongai. Only that her name was Hisana, and that Byakuya-dono, out of pure concern for her well-being brought her in his mansion for care after a particularly nasty coughing fit.

This theory was only partially right, because it was not only pure concern that motivated his actions. The very moment he saw her, he felt his heart go faster. It was an unusual feeling, one he only ever had in the presence of Yoruichi when she came for an unannounced visit.

Days turned into weeks and weeks became a month, and already, the excuse that staying in the manor was for her own good, if only for one more day, became pathetic. It was when her please to leave became more and more insistent that she be permitted to leave, did he finally make his proposition.

_Will you marry me?_

It was completely wrong, from all points of view. She was a commoner, he was a noble, and no matter how he turned the situation over in his head, there was no possible way the clan would not suffer from his choice for a bride. But he could not bring himself to care. He needed to have someone by his side, and that did not include a superficial noble woman, than did nothing but fawn over her appearance and clothes. It was an intricate world, the one he lived in, full of gossip and lies, everyone caring more for power than anything else. It was why he turned to a pure soul, one that did not have such ephemeral worries.

Truth be told, he expected her to fall at his feet the moment he uttered the proposition, but she did not. It was a mighty blow for his ego, the day she refused him, but it made him fight for her compassion.

And, again, he felt what it was like to truly have a friend. One he could confide his thoughts and hopes with, one that understood him, that saw behind the stoic mask he put on almost every day now. It was probably due to this closeness that she finally accepted being his wife. She must have seen the desperation quietly lingering behind his eyes. But she never mentioned it.

He was in such ecstasy, as if he was soaring through the sky, that he had to pause, several times that period, to recompose his figure to the one he usually wore. Cold and indifferent. Cold and indifferent. He had to let no shred of emotion pass through his façade. It was the heaviest curse he had to bare as a nobleman, and at the same time, a safe heaven from the malicious intentions of those around him.

He wanted to simply destroy everything in his wake when the news that his wife, his beloved Hisana, was terminally ill. He would have probably done it, too, had she not quietly extended a hand, and pleaded with her eyes to stay. Those beautiful blue eyes, ones he never had the fortune of seeing shining with hope and excitement, except for the few moments she thought she had inched ever so closer to her long missing sister.

On later reflections, he realized Hisana was the human that surprised him most, and in the most painful ways. Even on her death bed, when he pleaded for her to save her strength, she dealt him a heavy blow: _Please find my sister, Byakuya-sama._

He did, he honored her last wish, and even to this day he still looked after her, pride swelling in his chest when he realized just how far she evolved from the first grade academy student.

Thoughts over his little sister, however were proven not enough when his memories reenacted his late wife…he wondered if _her _arrival was a coincidence.

Although anything hardly ever is.

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**AN: **I have no excuse as to why I haven't updated in so long. I can say I'm sorry? That's why I don't write fanfiction all the time, I lose interest very quickly. I'd like to thank denebtenoh, for motivating me (even though I doubt that was her original plan.)

It was just so damn hard to write about Hisana! There was a time when I would squeal like crazy over anything ByaHisa related, but since a certain someone (the same person, you know who you are) said: _But, hey! What about ByaYoru?_ pairing Byakuya up with anyone other than the Godess of Flash seems…blasphemy. I know, I know.

I hope you can still find it in your heart to leave a review, please? I'm not going to make any promises about the next chapter, but know this: with it, the rating will be changed to M! (I'm scared…what if it turns out wrong…Gyah!)


	3. To give and receive

Part 3/3

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Bleach, or anything related to it.

**Warning: **IT's nothing _too _graphic, but they do have sex in this one, so…

It would make sense for the entire Seireitei to throw a huge celebration once the most feared and gruesome winter war was over. Aizen was killed, his plan thwarted, his minions either destroyed or waiting rightful judgment to be delivered as soon as possible. But even that would have to wait in the face of the Shinigami glee simply suffusing the world of spirits. Friends have been lost in combat, but it didn't matter anymore, it was all in the past.

He looked at all the other captains, Unohana joining her division, Kenpachi making a scene by scene re-inaction of various battles. Kurosaki and his sister were in the same group of onlookers, but they seemed to be paying attention only to themselves. But then he felt someone creep behind him, and his heart rate quickened like it once did…a long time ago, and only in the presence of his late wife or a certain…

'Shihouin Yoruichi' he said not turning his head, as she sauntered by his side. She didn't answer, but sat by his side, and rested her head on his shoulder, in a reversed posture of years past.

'It's over.' she stated 'It's finally over. The threat has been eliminated.'

This time, he was the one to remain silent, until she sighed and turned his head with her hand. She reached out until their lips met in one chaste kiss, so similar to what he experienced before, but…oh, so different. She didn't yield to his demands, but became more aggressive as they both reached for something inaccessible before, both seeking _something _only the other could provide. He wondered how long he has been waiting for this without really knowing. And as they were rushing away form the sight of the celebrations, she wondered the same thing herself.

The house was surprisingly empty, giving the impression that it was uninhabited. They knew better, and jumped straight to his window, by-passing any wide awake and very curious servants.

They kissed again in the shelter of darkness, knowing that they didn't really have to hide, but enjoying it none the less. They couldn't see each other, but they could feel, senses only enhanced by their voluntary blindness. His captain haori was the first to end up on the floor, cluttered like a meaningless piece of cloth. He knew it should make him indignant, but as he ran his hands over Yoruichi's body, loosening her jacket…he couldn't bring himself to care.

It was something akin to dance, what they did, twirling around the room, occasionally passing a streak of moonlight, casting long shadows on the opposite wall. More clothes fell, almost like petals in the wind, only landing in undignified heaps, showing the strain they have endured in battle. And as they left contact with their bodies, it seemed as if they shed the violent emotions and deep wounds they gained. The only thing that mattered now was the pleasure they could derive from each other's company, from each other's embrace. A pleasure they should have shared sooner, had they known…

Hearing Yoruichi moan under his ministrations was simply elating, giving him a new rush, besides that of her own touch. He hadn't known this before, he thought he had experienced love, but he really hadn't, not like this. As a child, he was the one receiving affection form his parents, as a young adult he gave everything he had to his wife, but now he could both give and return. It was a wonderful discovery.

He lowered her slowly on the mattress, bringing himself over her, teasing her skin with his mouth, as his hands continued their exploration. She moaned and screamed, just like he would, had his mouth not been otherwise engaged. She didn't say a word, but once again brought his head so that his eyes were level with hers, and she kissed him, slowly, passionately, like a slow fire building it's momentum before finally erupting in an all-consuming explosion. It was like that when he finally entered her, feeling…complete, for the first time in years.

A slight cough woke him the next morning, followed by a barely whispered 'Captain Kuchiki-sama.' A ray of light somehow found it's way straight his eyes, as he raised his head to inspect the unwelcome visitor.

'Sir, the captain council sent me…y-yo-you are late for the morning meeting, sir.' He squinted, and it must have been a terrible sight, for Yamada Hanatarou gulped and took a step back. He inclined his head, giving the man his chance to squander, and fell back on the covers, on his back this time, and took in his surroundings. The room was quite a sight, with clothes thrown everywhere, and the covers tousled as if an explosion had occurred there…or as if…

He noticed the black cat next, making it's way up his body, until he could touch his cheek to it's fur. The captain meeting could wait for now…

His first order of business for when he came back was to transfer the young and zealous Hanatarou to his own division. But there was lots of time for that, later…

**--**

**AN: **I don't think this requires an M-rating, but if anyone disagrees, I will change it. Um…it's been a long time, I know, but I didn't get much feedback, was discouraged, then retired form the Bleach universe altogether. I think I finished this thing in less than 45 minutes after *cough*you-know-who-you-are*cough* asked me 'But what about your ByaYoru?' after I complained that all stories I put on my alerts aren't updated anymore.

Reviews would really make my day…night…whatever.

Oh, here is a wonderful pic by 7kimiko7 on deviantart: http:// .com/art/Black-Cat-and-Cherry-Perfume-80168604 (remove the space from between // and 7kimiko). It inspired the ending scene. I know it's not morning, but I don't think I even planned the fic when she did this for me, I incorporated it afterwards. Anyone who might feel sorry for Hanatarou say 'Aye'

Aye! : )


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